Today I am bringing you one of my, my best friends, my most dearest friends, one of my business partners, Olivia Seline. I'm so freaking excited that she is going to be sharing today all on femininity, sex, pleasure, and having a strong marriage.
Olivia and her husband Joe have been together off and on since high school. They got married young and have now been married for over 7 years! They’ve seen a lot, been through a lot and grown up together. Olivia never thought or felt like she was qualified to talk about relationships because they hadn’t been through anything crazy. But when she started working with her one on one coach, her coach said ”you light up when you talk about relationships and what it means to rock your marriage and rock your business and why you think that divorce, it doesn't always have to be the answer and why you have these really strong points of view on marriage not having to be complicated”.
Prioritising your relationship
If your marriage or your relationship is on the rocks or you're not showing up fully with your spouse and there's things that are not fully there. There might be something that feels broken there or you're ignoring it or you're pushing it to the side because just need to start your business and you'll get to your relationship one day. This can lead to disconnection or even divorce.
Olivia believes it doesn’t have to be this way. She believes that your marriage and your relationship is a huge freaking piece of you. And if that is off, you're absolutely gonna show up into your business being off. Even if you feel like you're faking it till you make it, people can feel that energy. So she wants women to know that they can have both. You don't have to sacrifice your marriage or your relationship to have the rocket business. You can have the badass bank account, you can have the badass business, all the success that you want, but also have your man there or your, you know, woman there, your partner there to experience it all alongside you. And you have to do that now. Not like, Oh, well in five years when I have the six figures, then I'll get back to my relationship.
Like there was just so many times where I put my business ahead of Derek, and I would sit on the phone all the time and I wouldn't actually honor our relationship and he was always waiting around for me. And at a certain point, people are like, well, I don't want to be in a relationship with like myself. Like I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's just sitting on the couch next to me, but I actually cannot converse with them. I can't have connection with them. And they're always burnt out. They're always overwhelmed and I'm just this person at the other end of it, like picking them back up every single month, telling them it's going to be okay.
Listen to the full episode over on the Podcast….
Why you shouldn’t wait for validation…
Once you realise you don’t need to wait for someone to give you permission and validation, everything shifts for you in your business and your life. We tend to resist that thing because we feel like someone has to tell us like, Hey, you're ready, you're good enough. Yeah, you can do the damn thing now, but really we are the only one that can give us validation and permission and usually that thing that's scaring the shit out of you is the exact thing that you need to do because that's what's going to put you into alignment.
If it lights you the fuck up, then go out there and preach it and share it and talk about it. Like, yes, there are women out there that teach on relationships that had to go through, you know, much darker times than Olivia did in order to like overcome that obstacle and share it. And that's beautiful too. But there's other women who maybe aren't in those darker, darker times who are in like a, you know, an okay like mediocre marriage.
If it is something that you've gone through, even if it seems small or mediocre or minuscule to you, to someone else, they're like, Oh my God, thank you. Finally someone that's sharing where I can resonate because that's my story too. So I just know that if there's, if you're out there waiting for that permission, like take this as your sign, you should light the F up when you go to post.
For Olivia, business lights her up, but it comes into play with how her clients are showing up in their sex life and their marriage and for themselves. She believes that plays a huge role in how they show up in business.
Balancing masculine & feminine energies
As women, we are hustling in our business, which hustle can be beautiful, but you also have to make sure to balance it with flow, which is that feminine energy, right? So you've got the creativity and the inspiration and then you've got the days where you got to get shit done.
Olivia explains that she was hustling so hard at work, that it started seeping into their home life. Basically she was stripping Joe of his masculinity and he wasn't having any space to step up and be the man. And this caused a lot of disconnect in their marriage. Both energies are beautiful, but they need to balance each other out. They're like two sides of the coin and they flow together, they work together. But what happens when you take a magnet that is two of the same size and you try to put them together, they're like, you know, like going opposite. Like they're not linking together, they're not able to connect. And so what was happening was Olivia and Joe, they were both bringing masculine energy in the relationship and what was happening there was we were completely disconnected. There was zero polarity there and they weren't able to balance each other out.
Olivia felt like she couldn't receive because she was so tapped into her masculine. that what would happen was he would try to initiate sex or he would compliment her or he would try to touch her and she would shut him down because she was in her masculine. She would say “Oh no, like I've got shit to do or I got things to do or whatever. Or I would be like, Oh like I'm icky today or Oh, I look bad. Or Oh I haven't showered” and shut him down so many times - (who else can relate to that?!)
We have to be aware that our man wants to be wanted and needed and valued and appreciated and acknowledged just as much as we do.And if you are shutting him down every time he's trying to compliment you or initiate something or do something for you, eventually he's just gonna stop and then you're pissed and then you're like, well it's not like it wasn't back in the day, but it's because he stopped trying because you're not receiving.